So it has come to my attention that a few of you are thinking that I'm crazy for wanting to do a VBAC and well I just thought that I would share some of my personal reasons and thoughts for wanting one here. After all, it is my blog and what I usually write are my thoughts and ideas! :)
*Disclaimer*
These are MY thoughts and ideas. They are in NO way- ABSOLUTELY NONE- meant to guilt, shame or make anyone feel bad.
Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, 2because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life set me free from the law of sin and death.
Romans 8:1-2
So in saying this- please read this entry as a look into me and not as a judgement on what your choices are or were. WHY I want a VBAC:
First off, if you have been reading my blog for any amount of time you know that I'm pretty granola or crunchy. That being said I also was not raised in a culture of doctors and medicine. I grew up pretty natural and actually did not get sick very often at all. I only missed the perfect attendance award in Kindergarten when I got chicken pox for a week and in the 4th grade when we went to Disney World for two days before Christmas break. Well, that was in grade school. I missed a few more days in high school, but by then folks I had earned it!
Fast forward to my married days and the struggle with infertility. I cannot tell you how many drugs have passed through my body and what the side effects are. After researching a few I preferred not to know anymore. With Gianna and this pregnancy, John and I felt lead to do InVitro. So in choosing that, we chose to take drugs- LOTS and LOTS of drugs. I took oral pills, suppositories, SHOTS lots and lots of SHOTS. All for the hope of my dear children.
We were blessed both times to have IVF work for us.
With Gianna I had wanted a natural delivery. I felt that if I had to have so many drugs to have this baby then I would try to not introduce any more into her system. But God and Gianna had different plans. My water broke at 34 weeks- still really early for most babies. AND she was foot first in the birth canal. Just one foot. So the doctors decided the safest way out for our little girl was a c-section. I readily agreed. I was nervous and wanted her to be safe. I also should mention that I have a degree in special education. I spent more than one class discussing potential problems in birth related the children with special needs. So my concern factor was probably greater than just plain not knowing. I also was a little sad. I had wanted a natural birth. No drugs and here I was with MAJOR surgery. It did take some prayer and letting go to move one.
Now with this pregnancy, I discussed with the doctor that I wanted to do a VBAC but I totally understood the risks with twins and that I was willing to just do another C-section. He agreed with me and we set off with the whole idea of just doing a c-section this time around too. If you recall- I had the placenta privia scare, and the whole early labor, thinning cervix, bed rest issues too. But those have passed and HE brought up the idea of doing a VBAC to me. I could not have been more shocked! It took me a while to process because I had given up the issue LONG ago to God and come to terms with doing another C-section. So John and I both prayed about it, and I of course blogged about it, and that leads us to today where I am still willing to go either way. (at this particular moment I want a c-section as I am READY for the girls to come!)
And honestly- part of me does want the super mommy award for no drugs and a natural delivery, But it really is something that I have wanted for a long time. Long even before I met John. I just had the idea in my head that I wanted a natural delivery.
I am a little scared. I haven't done it before. But these girls were a miracles long before I knew I wanted to be a mommy. So I know whatever happens, and how ever it happens, God has a perfect plan. I just need to follow it.
