Wild Blue Yonder

John, Gianna and I are going on a trip soon. We are headed up to the last frontier- Alaska. My parents and my grandparents live up there so we are going to see them. There are 3 ways to get to Alaska. You could drive- who wants to drive for a week almost non stop with a toddler? Not me- I would rather get my eyelashes pulled out!
You could go by boat. Since we live by the Gulf of Mexico this involves going through Panama or around the tip of South America. Maybe fun one day, but for now.... see option one for how fun I think that would be.
So that leaves us with flying. I like to fly. It seems so fun and romantic. Going away, leaving all your cares on the ground. I know I've probably watched too many old movies, but I still think flying is fun. Until now. With a baby. I'm actually a little nervous. I haven't been a fan of flying since 9-11. No, it's not because of the terrorist, it's because of the TSA. I mean where else do people routinely get stripped searched, have to remove any item that could be of harm, and have their bodies inspected- JAIL. Now I've never been to Jail to fully compare the two, but it seems to me that its pretty close.
I've never been a fan of bare feet on linoleum. And this is actually the part I dread most when they MAKE you take off your shoes. You would think that I would get it together and wear a type of shoe that requires a sock, but I always forget.
I haven't been flying since they enacted the 311 on how much liquid you get to take on a plane. It's 3 ounces in 1 quart container and I'm not sure what the other 1 is for except they wanted to add it in there to look like 911 and scare us into submission!
I was looking up the rule because I want to know what I can take for Gianna.
Here are some ACTUAL quotes take directly from the TSA web site. Fun reading for a laugh!

NEVER leave babies in an infant carrier while it goes through the X-ray machine.
REALLY did they have to put that there? Did some one try this?!?!?!?!

When carrying formula, breast milk, or juice through the checkpoint, they will be inspected, however, you or your infant or toddler will not be asked to test or taste breast milk, formula, or juice. Our Security Officers may test liquid exemptions (exempt items more than 3 ounces) for explosives
Umm- Yuck

Now, a mother flying without her child will be able to bring breast milk through the checkpoint, provided it is declared prior to screening.
Thank you OH benevolent TSA for allowing me to feed my child in the manor I choose. I declare that!

Piercings are not prohibited, but may alarm the metal detectors. Ideally, remove body piercings before security screening.
Gel-filled bras and similar prosthetics - Gel-filled bras may be worn through security screening and aboard aircraft.
I have no response to this

Here's some of what you can't take on board
Swords
Sabers
Meat Cleavers
Bows and Arrows
Spear Guns
Firearms
Axes and Hatchets
Cattle Prods
Dynamite
Fireworks
Flares
Hand Grenades
Plastic Explosives

I guess I'll have to leave my meat cleaver at home this time Mom. I'll see if they let me check the cattle prod. Although I don't think it's fair that THEY get to use one for the coach passengers!